Kola
by Walter Bryan Cranston White
Summary: Tammy has broken up with Kenny and Kenny is depressed. I mean he was until he found someone else to comfort him


South Park elementary.

Kenny, Stan, Cartman, Kyle, Craig, Tweek, Token and Clyde were playing football.

Cartman had the ball in hand.

Kenny: I'm open!

Cartman: I can see you Kinny.

Cartman was still holding the ball in throwing position.

Kenny: Throw the goddamn ball already!

Tammy approaches Kenny.

Tammy taps on Kenny's shoulder.

Kenny doesn't turn around to face her.

Tammy does it again.

Kenny does turn around and face her this time.

Tammy: Ken, I'm breaking up with you.

Kenny stares at Tammy with shock.

Suddenly the ball hits Kenny in the head.

Cartman: And this is why poor people shouldn't play sport.

Kenny POV.

Kenny was blacked out.

Stan (Voice): Kenny...Kenny...Kenny.

Kenny slowly opened his eyes.

Stan: Kenny? Thank God, we thought you were dead.

Kenny: What happened?

Cartman: I threw a ball at you because you weren't paying attention.

Kenny got up whilst holding his head with one of his hands.

Kenny: I feel dizzy.

Kyle: What did Tammy say to you?

Kenny: She said she broke up with me. That's the last thing I remember. I hope that isn't true.

Token: She actually said she's dumped you.

Kenny: What?

Token: She said she's dumped you.

Kenny: Why did she dump me? What did I do?

Craig: I don't know.

Tweek: She said she wants to be friends.

Stan: Ok is anyone getting a sense of deja vu or is that me?

Kenny sighed.

Kenny walked up to a tree and pressed his head against it.

Stan: Could you four stay there?

Stan, Kyle and Cartman go to Kenny.

Clyde: Why did he tell us to stand back?

Craig: I think he knew how useless we are.

Stan: Hey Kenny.

Kenny was unresponsive.

Stan: I know how it feels to lose someone you love. I mean let's face it we all do.

Kyle: Yeah he's right.

Cartman: Thanks for reminding me, dick.

Kenny hits his head against the tree.

Stan: Kenny, we're here to support you.

Kenny hits his head against the tree again.

Kyle: Come on Kenny, don't feel down.

Kenny starts to repeatedly hit his tree again.

Stan: Kenny!

Kenny continued bashing his head against the tree until he was dead.

The boys stare at the body in shock.

Cartman chuckled.

The next day.

Kenny wakes up in bed after another death.

Carol (Kenny's Mom): Kenny, time for breakfast!

Kenny sighed.

Kenny: Coming.

Kenny got out of bed and walked into the kitchen.

Kenny sat on a chair by the table and started eating the breakfast that was prepared for him; a pop tart.

Kenny sighed and started eating it.

Karen noticed that Kenny was looking down.

Karen: Are you ok Kenny?

Kenny sighed.

Kenny: Tammy broke up with me.

The McCormicks continued eating their breakfast.

Kenny: I said Tammy broke up with me!

Karen: Kenny, I'm sorry.

Carol: I always said she was a slut.

Kenny: She's not a slut!

Stuart: Yes she is Kenny!

Kenny: You barley know her! Because you didn't get the time to know her! She was nice, caring and she loved me!

Stuart: And she was a slut! You don't know everything Kenny!

Kenny: I do Dad!

Kenny jumps off the chair and leaves the kitchen.

Carol: Kenny!

Carol and Stuart get off their chairs to walk to Kenny's room.

Carol knocks on Kenny's door.

Carol: Kenny!

Stuart: Kenny! Open this door!

Suddenly Carol felt a breeze.

Carol turned around and saw the door to the basement was open.

Carol walked down to the basement whilst Stuart continued to knock on Kenny's door.

Down in the basement.

Carol: Kenny?

Carol saw Kenny's body right beside a bottle of laundry detergent.

Carol: Oh my God!

Stuart ran down to the basement.

Stuart: Oh my God!

Montage.

Kenny and his friends were walking on the sidewalk until Kenny jumped into the middle of the road and allowed himself to be run over by a truck.

His friends were shocked about it.

The next day.

Kenny was jogging on the sidewalk until he jumped into a wood chipper.

His blood flew out of the chipper.

The next day.

South Park elementary.

Kenny was climbing up a tree and he tied a rope to a branch and than to his neck.

Kenny jumped off the branch causing his neck to snap.

Everyone on the playground screamed.

The next day.

Kenny was on top of City Hall.

The mayor's aides were trying to get him to not jump, but Kenny jumped off the building.

The next day.

Kenny had a gun in his hand and he shot himself in the head right in the middle of downtown.

Everyone screamed.

Montage ends.

South Park elementary.

Cafeteria.

The girls table.

Wendy: Does anyone feel sorry for Kenny?

Nelly: You're gonna have to fill me in.

Nichole: Tammy broke up with Kenny.

Heidi: OMG really? They were such a cute couple.

Nelly: I personally thought she was a slut.

Bebe: Nelly!

Nelly: What? It's true.

Wendy: But we shouldn't really call any girl a slut.

Nelly: Fine.

They continue eating.

Sophie: She's right you know?

Wendy glared at Sophie.

Bebe: Did Stan ever tell you how Kenny was?

Wendy: Kenny has been trying to kill himself. He tried to run himself over, he survived getting hanged and he survived being chipped in a wood chipper.

Sophie: And that's possible because?

Bebe: You know what? I'm gonna try and find Kenny a new girlfriend.

Nelly: Maybe you could find a girl who's a slut. They seem to be his type.

Wendy: Will you stop saying that?

Bebe: Nelly, I will find somebody Kenny will like. And she won't be a slut.

Bebe walks to the boys table.

Bebe: Hey guys.

Boys: Hey Bebe.

Clyde: What brings you here?

Bebe: Have any either of you seen Kenny?

Stan: I saw him sulking by his locker. He's still sad about his breakup. Only a matter of time before the goths come to him. You better get there quick.

Bebe: Thanks Stan.

Bebe starts running.

Kyle: What did she want with Kenny?

Token: She might have a thing for him.

Cartman: Impossible, she has a higher income than him. He should end up with Theresa. She lives in a trailer park, that's poor people home.

Theresa overhears this.

Theresa: Excuse me! I'm not poor! And me and my family live in a tiny home.

Cartman: So basically a trailer park?

Theresa: It's a fucking tiny home!

Cartman: Poor people home!

Meanwhile.

School hallway.

Bebe was looking for Kenny.

Bebe does find Kenny, but he was chatting with the goths.

Bebe: Oh no.

Michael: Like I said there's a place for you Benny.

Kenny: Kenny.

Henrietta: Whatever.

Pete: We could use you.

Kenny: Sounds tempting I-

Bebe: Hey, leave him alone!

Bebe shoves the goths out of the way.

Bebe: When will you stop showing up when somebody has a breakup?

Firkle: When will you stop being a slut?

Bebe: Hi Kenny.

Kenny: What do you want?

Bebe: Kenny, you can't go on being depressed. You're single, get out there.

Kenny: But Tammy, she was the one.

Bebe: Kenny maybe she might've not been the one. Haven't you thought about it?

Kenny sighed.

Kenny: I don't know Bebe, I still feel like she was the one.

Bebe: Look Kenny, you can't go on being depressed. Because being depressed or being hung up about a breakup might lead to bad things. You might go goth or you might give Tammy the cold shoulder or you might insult her or you might flash your wiener at her because you-Wait that last part already happened.

Kenny: What do you want Bebe? Why do you want me to be happy?

Bebe: Kenny, I wanna help you. Because I've been hearing how depressed you've been and I wanna end that depression by finding you a new girlfriend.

Kenny: Bebe I-

Bebe: Kenny, I helped you with your Mysterion costume and I wanna help you again. Please let me help you find a new girlfriend.

Kenny: Alright.

Bebe: I'll set up a coffee date tomorrow with one of the girls. And we're gonna do it everyday until we find the right girl. Ok?

Kenny: Ok.

Pete: Dammit. We could've gotten a fifth member.

Henrietta: Didn't we have a fifth member?

Firkle: Yeah it was Raven.

Henrietta: No I remember there being another one of us who was about Firkle's age.

The goths stood thinking.

Pete: I don't remember.

Michael: Me neither.

The next day.

Tweek coffee.

Kenny was sitting at the table waiting for his "date".

That date was Isla.

Isla sat across from him.

Isla: Hi Kenny. You may not remember me, but my name is Isla.

Kenny just sulked.

Isla: So, I'm part of the girls basketball as you might know I-

We than cut to the next day and Rebecca Cotswold is next.

Rebecca: My Dad thinks I shouldn't be with boys, but fuck him. He doesn't know what I want in my life.

We than cut to the next day and Sally Darson is next.

Sally: I used to do this kissing business with Butters.

We than cut to the next day and Theresa is next.

Theresa: People seem to think we seem to have about the same income Kenny. But I don't, I live in a-

Cartman: Trailer Park!

Theresa: It's a goddamn tiny home!

Later.

Kenny exits the coffee shop.

Bebe: How did this one go?

Kenny: I don't know, Theresa's fine she isn't really perfect. I'm just scared Cartman's gonna mock me for dating her.

Bebe: So it's a no?

Kenny: Forget it Bebe! This is hopeless. I might as well keep trying to kill myself because I'm not going to be happy.

Bebe: Kenny, couldn't you try again tomorrow. One more time?

Kenny sighed.

Kenny: Fine. Anyway my ride's here.

Kenny jumped in front of a moving truck and got ran over.

Some of the blood flew into Bebe's face.

Bebe screamed.

The next day.

Kenny is at the coffee shop waiting for his "date".

But the "date" was running late.

Kenny: Where is she?

A girl walked into the coffee shop, she had long brown hair and a green jumper, it was Lola.

Lola sat on the chair across from Kenny.

Lola: Hey.

Kenny sighed.

Lola: In case you don't know who I am, I'm-

Kenny: Lola. I know, you're in my class.

Lola: Oh. Bebe told me you needed company.

Kenny: Yeah I got enough money for coffee.

Lola: No.

Kenny: Huh?

Lola: Why the fuck are we having a coffee date? We should be doing something else together.

Kenny: Like what?

Lola: How about a movie?

Kenny: That sounds good.

Lola: You've got enough money for a movie right?

Kenny: I've only got enough for popcorn.

Lola: That's fine. Come on Kenny.

Kenny started following Lola.

In the theatre.

Kenny and Lola were laughing at the movie they were watching.

Kenny: This is so fucking hilarious!

Lola: I know.

Later.

Kenny and Lola exited the theatre still laughing.

Kenny: Funniest movie of the year I know.

Lola: I know. Top 10 comedies of 2020, The Grudge, number 1.

Kenny and Lola continue laughing.

Kenny and Lola stare at each other.

Lola: Is there anything else you think we should do?

Kenny: I got a few ideas.

Kenny stares at Lola in a suggestive manner.

Lola: Ew!

Kenny: I'm just joking.

Kenny laughed.

Lola playfully pushes Kenny.

Lola: You scumbag.

Kenny: I know.

Montage starts.

Kenny and Lola are walking in the park chatting.

Kenny and Lola are at the arcade playing two player on Street Fighter.

Kenny was Ryu and Lola was M. Bison.

Lola was the one who beaten Kenny at the game.

Kenny and Lola are than seen eating ice cream at an ice cream parlour.

Than Kenny and Lola are at the zoo looking at two lions snuggling.

Kenny and Lola than smile at each other.

Later.

Kenny and Lola made it to her house.

Lola: Kenny, I've had a great time today.

Kenny: So have I.

Lola: I hope we can do more together.

Kenny: I'm pretty sure we will.

Lola: I'll see you at school Kenny.

Kenny: Ok Lola.

Lola stared at Kenny awkwardly until she suddenly gave him a hug.

Lola stopped hugging Kenny and ran home.

Kenny blushed.

Kenny started walking home but he was stopped when Bebe ran up behind him.

Bebe: Hey.

Kenny: Hey Bebe.

Bebe: I've been looking everywhere for you and Lola. Didn't it go well?

Kenny: It went fantastically.

Bebe: Really?

Kenny: Yeah.

Bebe: So I've made a right choice?

Kenny: Of course!

Bebe: Than why weren't you at the coffee shop?

Kenny: We just didn't wanna be there. We went to the theatre, the zoo and the arcade.

They start waking across the street.

Kenny: Bebe I th-

Suddenly Kenny gets ran over by a truck.

Bebe screamed.

The next day.

Kenny woke up in bed as per usual.

But this time instead of being annoyed or depressed he was smiling.

Kenny got out of bed to have breakfast.

But all Kenny could think about was Lola.

Carol: Kenny could you pass your brother a pop tart.

But Kenny wasn't listening.

Carol: Kenny? Kenny?

Carol waved her hand in front of Kenny's face.

Carol: Kenny you there?

Inside Kenny's head.

_Kenny was imagining he was running around in a field with Lola._

_They started hugging each other._

_Kenny removed his hood._

_Kenny and Lola started kissing._

_They continue kissing but Lola stops it._

_Lola than unwraps herself from Kenny and than starts to take her shirt off._

_Kenny had a huge grin on his face._

_Lola removes her shirt and to Kenny's surprise her boobs were actually his Mom's face._

_Carol: Kenny! Kenny!_

Carol: Kenny!

Kenny finally comes back to reality.

Carol: Kenny! Wake up!

Kenny: Sorry, I was daydreaming.

Stuart: You're goddamn right. You're gonna miss the bus.

Kenny: Oh shit!

Kenny grabbed his things and ran out of the house.

Later.

South Park elementary.

In class.

Mrs Nelson: In 1997 Princess Diana was killed in a car-

As Mrs Nelson continued talking, Kenny was daydreaming yet again.

_Kenny was imagining Lola as the teacher and she was teaching the class about how poor people are people too._

_Lola: This is why we shouldn't take these people for granted, they're the same as you and I. And Kenny._

_Kenny: Yeah?_

_Lola: Kenny!_

_Suddenly Lola turned into Mrs Nelson._

Mrs Nelson: Pay attention please!

Kenny: Sorry Mrs Nelson. What were you saying?

Mrs Nelson: I've been saying class has been over for 35 minutes.

Kenny: Oh shit!

School cafeteria.

Kenny wasn't really eating his food, he was just daydreaming yet again.

Kyle: Is Kenny ok?

Stan: I don't know. He seemed to have gotten over the breakup very quickly.

Clyde: I wonder if he's been sniffing cat piss.

Butters: Kenny have you been sniffing cat piss again?

Kenny wasn't paying attention, he was daydreaming yet again.

_This time he was imagining himself having dinner with Lola._

_They were both sharing a plate of spaghetti and meatballs._

_Lola fed Kenny some of the spaghetti._

_Kenny: Delicious._

_Lola: Tell me what you're thinking about right now Kenny._

_Kenny: You naked._

_Lola stared at Kenny suggestively than her face turned into a face of shock._

_Lola: What?!_

Stan: Seriously dude?!

Kenny: What?

Stan: You imagine me naked?

Kenny: What?! No?!

Cartman: Oh my God! Kinny's gay for Stan.

Kenny: I am not! I was daydreaming!

Cartman: About what?

Kenny: I was daydreaming about having dinner with Lola.

Kyle: Lola?

Kenny: Yeah. She's great, she's beautiful and I'm hoping I get to spend more time with her today.

Clyde: So you like Lola?

Kenny: Actually I think I do.

Cartman: I still think you should end up with Theresa. You're poor as shit and she lives in a trailer park.

At the girl's table.

Theresa: It's a fucking tiny home!

Heidi: So Lola, you and Kenny.

Lola: Girls, we're just friends for the moment.

Girls: OOOOOOOO.

Lola: What?

Red: You did say for the moment.

Lola: I'm taking my time.

Wendy: I think you two would make a good couple.

Cartman walked past.

Cartman: I still think Theresa and Kinny would make a good couple. They're poor as shit.

Theresa: For the last time I don't live in a trailer park, I live in a tiny home!

Bebe: So Lola, you think you'll ask Kenny out again?

Lola: I think I will actually.

Later.

Kenny and Lola were at Stark's Pond staring at the view.

Lola: Isn't this nice Kenny?

Kenny: Yeah. Now I see why Stan and Wendy really like this place.

Kenny was about to wrap his arm around Lola, but Lola looks at Kenny and Kenny moves his arm away from her.

Lola: Weird question how do you manage to keep yourself clean despite your low income?

Kenny: What?

Lola: Was that too weird I am so sorry I-

Kenny: Lola, it's ok. We somehow have plumbing.

Lola: Oh. You do smell good by the way.

Kenny: I do?

Lola: Yeah.

They continue staring at the Pond, Kenny was about to wrap his arm around Lola again, but she turns her head to face him and Kenny moves his arm away from her.

Kenny: Do you like to do anything at the weekend?

Lola: I usually hang out with my friends and text them.

Kenny: I was just wondering if you wanted to do anything with me this weekend? Just the two of us?

Lola: Of course I would.

Kenny: Cool.

They continue staring at the pond.

Kenny was about to wrap his arm around Lola again, but Lola noticed it this time.

Kenny moved his arm away from Lola.

Lola smiled and than wrapped her arm around Kenny.

Kenny blushed.

Montage starts.

As the weeks went by, Kenny and Lola were spending a lot of time together.

They were watching movies together.

Eating at City Wok.

Studying at her house.

Walking in the park.

Chatting by a tree.

At a basketball game. Kenny was there in the audience supporting Lola.

Lola notices Kenny and waves at him.

But Lola waving at Kenny caused her to be distracted and a ball hits her.

Montage ends.

Kenny and Lola were walking to her house.

Lola was pressing an ice pack on her head.

Kenny: How's your head?

Lola: It still feels a little sore. But a little better.

They continue walking.

Lola: There's my house.

Kenny and Lola stopped walking.

Lola: Thanks for walking me home Kenny.

Kenny: My pleasure.

Lola: Maybe I can repay you in some way.

Kenny: Can you show me your boobs?

Lola: What?!

Kenny started laughing.

Kenny: I'm only joking.

Lola shoves Kenny.

Lola: You scumbag! I was referring to something else.

Lola walks up to Kenny and pulls his hood down.

Kenny: What are you d-

Lola than starts kissing Kenny on the lips.

Kenny was shocked for a short time, but than he returned the kiss.

After what seemed like forever they stopped.

Lola pulled Kenny's hood back up.

Lola: I never saw you without your hood, until now. For a poor boy you're not bad looking. Good night.

Lola walked back into her house.

Kenny stared at the house for a moment and than blushed.

Kenny started to walk across the street, but than he gets run over by a truck.

Three days later.

Kenny and Lola were eating lunch together.

The boys were watching them from afar.

Kyle: Don't those two make a good couple?

Token: I must say they do.

Jimmy: Despite different i-incomes they are f-f-f-fantastic.

Cartman: I still think he should've ended up with Theresa. He's poor and she lives in a trailer park.

The boys stay silent.

Cartman: I said Kinny should've ended up with Theresa because he's poor and she lives in a trailer park.

Wendy: She's not here today!

Cartman: Aww what?!

Butters: Why do you think Kenny and Lola don't make cute couples?

Cartman: Because I don't Butters! He's poor and she has a better income than him.

Stan: Cartman you're just overreacting. Me and Wendy are different and I don't see you complaining about us.

Cartman: Because you're preachy and she's preachy so you two are perfect.

Kyle: For once Cartman's kind of right dude.

Stan sighed.

Butters: But did anyone else agree that Tammy was kind of a slut?

Craig: I agree.

Kyle: Yeah. I heard she's poor as well.

Cartman: Still should've bee-Wait Tammy's poor?

Kyle: Yeah.

Cartman: How poor?

Kyle: Around Ke-What the hell?! I'm not dumb Cartman, you're just trying to bring them back together.

Cartman: No I'm not.

Kyle: I know you, remember?

Butters: She's poorer than Kenny.

Cartman: Oh my God! How did I forget that?!

Cartman jumped off his seat.

Kyle: See what you did Butters?

Butters: He was asking.

Cartman ran to the girls table.

Cartman: Hey girls!

The girls start glaring at Cartman.

Cartman: Tell Theresa she's no longer the poorest girl in this skewl.

Cartman ran out of the cafeteria.

Bebe: What was that all about?

Red: I have no idea.

Later.

Kenny is packing some stuff back into his gym bag.

Cartman watches Kenny putting his stuff in his bag.

Cartman starts using the walkie talkie.

Cartman: Marjorine! Marjorine!

We cut to Butters dressed as a girl and using another walkie talkie.

Butters: Marjorine reading you loud and clear.

Cartman: You know what to do.

Butters gave an approving nod to the walkie talkie.

Butters ran into the girls changing room and it is filled with the 5th graders.

Meanwhile Cartman walked up to Kenny holding a handful of towels.

Cartman: Kinny, coach has asked you to place these towels in the girl's locker room.

Kenny: Why didn't he send you to do it?

Cartman stares at Kenny trying to think of a lie.

Cartman: Just respect his authoritai.

Kenny sighed.

Kenny took the handful of towels from Cartman.

Meanwhile at the girls locker room.

The girls were finished getting changed.

Butters walked in.

Butters (Trying to sound like a girl): Hey everybody! The cast of Birds of Prey are outside of school.

Girl 1: OMG really?!

Girl 2: Come on girls!

All the girls ran out of the locker room and Kenny walked in holding the towels.

When Kenny ran into the locker room he accidentally saw Tammy wrapped in a towel.

Kenny screamed.

Tammy screamed.

Kenny: Oh my God!

Tammy: Kenny?!

Kenny: I came to deliver towels! Oh my God! I am so sorry!

Kenny was about to run out of the locker room, but the door was locked from the outside.

Kenny: Dammit!

Tammy: We're trapped!

Kenny: Thank you Captain obvious! You're the last person I wanna be trapped in a locker room with.

Tammy sighed.

Tammy: I thought you might say something similar to that. Do you smell something?

Kenny: Yeah.

They follow the smell and that the led the two to a table that is set like a romantic dinner.

Tammy: Did someone leave a romantic dinner for us?

Kenny stood thinking.

Kenny: Oh no he didn't.

Later.

A rescue team was outside the school and Kenny and Tammy had towels and coco.

Lola ran up to Kenny.

Lola: Kenny!

Kenny threw his coco to the ground and hugged Lola.

Tammy: Oh. You found someone.

Kenny: Oh.

Kenny stopped hugging Lola.

Kenny: Tammy this is Lola, my girlfriend. Lola this is Tammy, we used to date.

Lola: Oh. I do find it kind of weird you two were locked in a locker room together.

Tammy: Yeah. It was strange.

Kenny: Maybe not.

Cartman walked up to the trio.

Cartman was trying to act concerned.

Cartman: Oh my God Kinny, are you alright? I heard you were accidentally locked in the girls locker room with your ex; how weird is that?

Kenny: I know your game Cartman. You want me and Tammy to get back together because we're "poor" according to you. Well newsflash, I'm in love with Lola and there's nothing you can do about it.

Lola: Come on Kenny.

Lola grabbed Kenny's hand and they started to walk away.

Tammy: Did you really lock me and Kenny in the locker room?

Cartman: Pfft, no. I asked Butters to do it. And he did.

Tammy: But you're still to blame?

Cartman: Yeah. Why did you break up with Kinny anyway?

Tammy: Look, Ken's a nice guy and all. But I just didn't wanna be his girlfriend anymore.

Cartman: But you two were perfect.

Tammy: I don't care. I left him and it's done.

Tammy walks away.

Cartman sighed.

Cartman: Who can help me now?

Suddenly Cupid Me showed up.

Cupid Me: Tee hee. I have an idea how you can get them two back together.

Cartman: How can I get them back together Cupid Me?

Cupid Me: Fuck them. Fuck them in the ear.

Cartman: What is that supposed to mean?

Cupid Me: Just leave them be Eric. Kenny and Lola look very happy.

Cartman: No Cupid Me! I want Kenny and Tammy to be together! And what you just said makes me wanna kill you!

Craig and Tweek were watching Cartman.

Cartman: You just don't know they were made for each other...Fuck you Cupid Me!

Tweek: What the hell is he doing?

Craig: He's arguing with his imaginary friend, dear. Let's just ignore him.

Cartman: Just give me something to do Cupid Me!

Cupid Me: Never, unless you dress up as Kenny and find a way to make it look like Tammy was giving Kenny a BJ and take a picture of it.

Cupid Me disappeared.

Cartman: That sounded like a dumb idea.

Butters: Hey Eric. Do you have an idea?

Cartman: Yes I do Butters. I need you to steal Kenny's parka. I have an idea.

Later.

Tammy was walking down an empty alleyway.

Cartman walked up to Tammy.

Cartman: Hey Tammy.

Tammy: Yeah?

Cartman presses a napkin in her face.

Tammy than pushes Cartman away from her.

Tammy: What the hell was that?!

Cartman: A napkin filled with chloroform.

Tammy: It's gonna take more than that to knock me unconscious.

Suddenly a bag fell on Tammy's head and that knocked her unconscious.

Cartman: Da fuck?

Suddenly Cupid Me appeared giggling.

Cupid Me: That was funny.

Cartman: Did you do this for me Cupid Me? Thank you.

Cupid Me: What did I do?

Cartman stares at Cupid Me in confusion.

Cartman: Than who did it?

The camera pans to a building and it was a bunch of Chaos minions.

Chaos Minion 1: Ha! Chaos rules.

The next day.

South Park Elementary.

Kenny was at his locker sticking pictures of him and Lola on it.

Lola than walked up to him and slammed the locker in his face.

Kenny: Hey Lola.

Lola slaps Kenny in the face.

Kenny: Ow! That hurt, can you do that again?

Lola showed Kenny a picture of Tammy about to give a BJ to somebody who looked like Kenny.

Lola: You're not over her are you?

Kenny: Look, I swear to God that isn't me.

Lola: That is you Kenny! I thought you loved me!

Kenny: I do Lola.

Lola: Than why did you do it?

Kenny: I swear Lola I didn't.

Lola: You're a fucking liar! Congrats Kenny, we're through.

Lola walks away from Kenny.

Kenny: Through?

Kenny started sulking by his locker.

Everyone was watching Kenny.

Stan approached Kenny.

Stan: I'm sorry dude.

Cartman and a group of girls were watching from afar.

Cartman: This is your moment Theresa, go to him.

Theresa: Why?

Cartman: Because he's poor and you live in a trailer park.

Theresa: For the last time I live in a-

Suddenly a gunshot was heard.

Kenny had shot himself in the head and some of his blood was on Stan.

Stan: Jesus dude!

Another montage starts.

Kenny walks up to a glass window and smashes his head through it, killing him instantly.

The next day.

Kenny was running and jumped off a cliff.

The next day.

Kenny was at a zoo looking at a bunch of tigers.

Kenny than jumped into the enclosure.

Everyone screamed.

Some blood flew into people's faces.

The next day.

Kenny was skydiving with Stan, Kyle and Cartman.

Stan, Kyle and Cartman jumped out of the plane.

Kenny removed his parachute and jumped out of the plane.

Down on the ground.

Lola was walking feeling down.

Suddenly Kenny crashed in front of her and she screamed.

Montage ends.

A few days later.

Testaburger residence.

Wendy's bedroom.

Lola was crying whilst Wendy, Bebe and Theresa were comforting her.

Lola (Crying): Why did he betray me?

Wendy: It's ok Lola you'll find someone.

Bebe: Tammy is a slut who should be punished.

Wendy: Bebe that doesn't help.

Lola (Crying): What am I gonna do?

Suddenly they heard a knock from the window.

Cartman: Theresa, you should end up with Kinny!

Theresa: For the last fucking time! It's a tiny home!

Cartman: You should still end up with him!

Theresa: I don't even like Kenny!

Cartman: You must do.

Theresa: No! He's a nice guy and all, but he's not my type.

Cartman: Impossible!

Theresa: No, it's possible. Now leave us alone, Lola's still upset.

Cartman starts climbing back down the ladder.

Cartman: Wow. I fucked up.

Cupid Me shows up.

Cupid Me: You're telling me.

Cartman: What should I do Cupid Me?

Cupid Me: You've done enough. It's my turn now.

Cartman: Cupid Me, no.

Cupid Me shoots an arrow at Cartman, causing him to be knocked out.

Cupid Me flys up to the window and enters Wendy's bedroom.

Lola was still crying.

Wendy: You'll find somebody else, I don't know who, but somebody.

Cupid Me shoots a few arrows at Lola.

Cupid Me: This will do the trick.

Lola stops crying.

Lola: Thanks for comforting me girls, but I need some time to think. I'm going to the arcade.

Lola gets off Wendy's bed and exits the room.

While Cupid Me flew out of the house.

Cupid Me than flew to McCormick residence.

Cupid Me flew into Kenny's room.

Kenny was drinking a can coke looking depressed.

Kenny: Killing myself is pointless.

Kenny sighed.

Cupid Me shot a few arrows at Kenny's head.

Cupid Me: And a finishing touch.

Cupid Me starts to pee in Kenny's can of coke.

Kenny took a sip of the coke.

Kenny sighed.

Kenny: I'm going to the arcade.

Kenny exited his room.

Cupid Me giggled.

Cupid Me: He drank my pee pee.

At the arcade.

Kenny was playing Street Fighter.

Kenny was playing as Ryu and he got his ass kicked by Vega.

Kenny sighed.

Kenny rummaged through his pockets and he discovers that he's out of quarters.

Kenny sighed.

Voice: Need some quarters?

Kenny was startled by the familiar voice. It was Lola.

Lola: I've got some. You wanna do two player?

Kenny: Really?

Lola: Yeah.

Lola inserts the quarters into the machine.

Kenny picked Ryu whilst Lola picked Chun-Li.

Kenny: Ready?

Lola: Ready.

They were about to fight each other but they didn't start fighting at all.

Kenny: Are you gonna try and kick my character's ass?

Lola: I don't know. Are you gonna do the same with my character?

Kenny: Somehow, I don't want to.

Lola: Me neither.

The game's timer ended because Kenny and Lola just couldn't help but stare at each other.

Lola: Kenny, I wanna say I'm sorry for not believing you.

Kenny: What? But that picture was so flawless.

Lola: Kenny, on the way here Butters told me everything. He was dressed as you so Cartman could make it look like Tammy was giving you a BJ.

Kenny: Cartman! That stupid son of a bitch! I'll kill-

Lola: No. We'll kill him.

Kenny and Lola stare at each other.

Tears started to fall down Lola's face and Kenny did the same.

Lola: I miss you so much Kenny.

Kenny removed his hood.

Kenny: I miss you too Lola.

Kenny and Lola walked up to each other and connected their lips to each other.

The next day.

South Park elementary.

Hallway.

Cartman was walking down the hallway he stopped when Kenny approached him.

Cartman: Oh, hey Kinny.

Kenny: Hey Cartman.

Lola approached the two and stood right next to Kenny.

Lola: Hey fat ass.

Cartman: What do you two want?

Kenny: We know what you did.

Cartman: What did I do?

Lola: Butters told me that you were trying to split me and Kenny up. You succeeded, but lying-

Lola holds Kenny's hand.

Lola: Comes at a price.

Cartman: What are you gonna do to me?

Later.

Cartman was in a trash can.

Cartman: When can I come out?

Lola: Until the end of the day.

Cartman: That's bull crap.

Kenny: Ok, we'll tell your Mom you've had your first BJ.

Cartman: Ok fine! I'll stay.

Lola: Come on sexy.

Kenny: Oooh. When did you decide to call me sexy?

Lola: Because you are.

Kenny and Lola walk away.

Cartman sighed.

Cupid Me shows up.

Cupid Me: Tee hee. This is what you get Eric for fucking up someone's relationship.

Cartman glares at Cupid Me.

Cartman: Fuck you Cupid Me.


End file.
